Tears, tantrums and sock issues

I am so, so weary. This morning spiralled out of control again when Tabby refused to get dressed, changed her clothes twice, refused tights, leggings and socks. Picked socks, said they annoyed her removed socks, screamed at us threw stuff around the house, screamed more, put socks on inside out, puts boots on, said they annoyed her, took them and socks off, screamed more about the seams in the socks. Cried, shouted and kicked us both, took off her dress and insited on putting it back on backwards. Just as they were going out the door she took shoes, socks and dress off and refused to put them on. I swapped the socks for the smoothest I could find and tried to put them on her, she kicked me hard in the ribs and I smacked her - I wish I could rewind the clock!. I didn’t intend to but she was uttery out of control and I burst into tears again!! She was carried kicking and screaming into the car, they got to school 1/2 hour late as usual.  Every morning is like this, every day starts with total chaos and then I feel crap for hours and hours. 

There are two issues here think. Tabby wants to be in control of everything, she also has a massive temper issue, we are trying to calm her and listen and give her freedom to choose are clothes etc, this doesn’t seem to help though.

2nd issue, she genuinely hates socks and tights. I bought three pairs of soft smooth tights on Saturday and have had to cut the feet off as she can’t cope with the seams on the toes. She will then only where 1 or 2 pairs of socks which to me seem the same in feel to all her others!  Can anyone help on the anger issues and the sock problems. Does anyone know of seamless tights or socks?

A kind Mummy on the GP forum just sent me these links which are great and on close inspection I was very very interested to read about Tactile Defenciveness.  Also having calmed down myself, maybe she is simply saying listen to me these socks do REALLY bother me.  So tonight I will sit with her and make a 'comfy' sock box and put only things that she is hapy with in the box, maybe this will work.  I have ordered some socks from the Sensory Smart site but do not know how long the post will take to arive here in Italy.

http://www.sensory-smart.com/


http://www.eczemaclothing.com/Department/Cotton+Socks+Tights/Childrens+Socks/

http://www.seamlesssocksuk.co.uk/girls socks.html

In the shed

Great Grandma's 85th birthday cake!

GG, TT and AA

Siena

Siena

Siena

New old desk for TT

Typical TT

Fiery Friend - awaiting installation

homework on the new old desk

I have finally succumbed to working in the shed again as my laptop is a bugger and won't upload images which is a real pain in the neck... any ideas as to why it won't upload are most welcome.


This last week has been chaotic to say the least, with children visiting friends, work meetings, hospital appointments, helping people move house and re-arranging our home to accommodate lots of lovely unwanted bits and bobs including an ancient sewing machine with foot tread (pics to come).  On the home front things are coming together slowly, the house is wonderfully messy and in need of a serious clean but the children are full of autumnal excitement, Halloween seems to be a big thing for a 10 year old!  We are hopeful that more work is coming our way here in Italy as this is where I really want to be,. not flitting to the UK every month.


The week ahead looks like this:   Olive picking, Olive picking, Olive picking, making Halloween biscuits, tidying, cleaning, working, Olive picking, Olive picking, working.


Big plans..........the jam jar embargo.. I have about 100 empty jars waiting to be filled with Passata however our tomatoes were a disaster this year and my jam jar stock is out of control.  I therefore plan to hide them from Gary so he thinks the problem has simply vanished!!  then magically I will feel them with yummy things at regular intervals such as jam, fruit in syrup, dried herbs etc.  I desperately need to get my pantry/kitchen cupboards inline as they are currently a miss mash of disordered clutter.


Big News... The wood burner is here and waiting the approval from our landlord, a long term loan from a friend this fiery friend will transform our lives, we just need the landylord to install it (not a simple task).


Big Dreams.. We may have found some land to share with friends where we can build a 'recycled' home here in the hills of Tuscany.


Here are few recent pics of our life here in Italy x

Autumn review

Well it's been so long since I have felt like blogging, I suppose mostly because my laptop will not upload images anymore, no idea why. Therefore to blog in pictures I need to go to the shed (office)and when it is cold or the children are home I don't feel the urge.

However, today the sun is shining through the autumn clouds and I have venture to the shed to work and catch up with blogging, both for fun and work.

 

 

  

  

The last few weeks have been manic and may days I have felt totally exhausted and out of control on many levels; work, home, kids, house, garden, nature, diet, everything has been out of sync which I find upsetting. But now I feel a little more grounded and that a gentle rhythm is flowing though our lives again. The children are now a school part time which is better for everyone as we are sharing more experiences and getting to understand more what they are studying a school. Tabby is learning to write and read in Italian so we have been exploring the countryside with a pen a paper and writing down the names of things like strada (road) Alberi (trees Gatti(cats), in all honesty I think I am learning the most out of being with the kids, especially on the Italian front. So we are trying to be outside more too, the veg patch is sad and neglected and we have had issues with bugs and blight this year, one triumph though is our marvellous melanzane, wonderful griddled with salt and olive oil! This weekend is looking busy but in a nice homely way, tomorrow will be homework, cleaning, baking and gardening, Sunday lunch at friends then a trip to see our visiting Great Grandma who flies to Italy tomorrow, today is hr 85th birthday, I think I may bake her a girly style cake with sprinkles and icing.

This post is in danger of becoming a war and piece style feature so I will try and make a brief summary of life in the Tuscan Hills as it is now:

Home: scruffy, needs cleaning, would like to paint wild climbing flowers on the walls in TT's room and de-clutter every other room. We are re-arranging things to help us stay warm this winter and plan to sleep downstairs in front of the fire when it turns too cold upstairs. Sounds divine, warm duvet, glass of wine, dozing chidren, crackling fire, agghh.

Garden: Looking healthy but very wild, my little formal garden at the front looks set to be a happy jumble of herbs and flowers in the spring. Would ike to get lots of bulbs in very soon ready for spring. The Veg patch is crazy and looks like a field of weeds which in fact it is. Though we are so excited about our leeks and pumpkins which are strong and handsome.

Hearth: Made amazing honey and raisin bread this week that the children love, the perfect loaf after 30 years of practice!!!! Baked potatoes in the oven for lunch and homemade baked beans. Hope to make a few more crumbles and cakes tomorrow. Enjoyed the most amazing 'Crema di Limoncello' last weekend when some lovely friends came for lunch. Monia had made this fantastic booze from 97% alcohol, lemons, sugar and cream - it was utterly gorgeous but I felt like I had had me knee joints removed and replaced with jelly after 2 glasses.

Custard - we have been gorging on Brids custard and gluten free crumble since I found a tin in a small shop in town (we can't normally find this here in Tuscany)

Family - Ups and downs, lots of emotional outbursts flying around our home lately. The boy is 10 now and quite grumpy at times, also still has hideously shy moments, he is fine at Rugby and school but introduce him to a new person and he can barely speak, let alone look them in the eye, it cripples him socially sometimes and I so wish I could feed him a plate of confidence and a big dollop of enthusiasm. The girl is quite simply barking mad, wonderful to watch, she loves learning and is overflowing with interest in the outside world, animals, plants and nature. Though she has to some how calm down her temper as she lashes out at her brother for no reason - all normal fun and games. I struggle to understand why they can’t be nice to each other, I was an only child who grew up watching the Waltons and thought siblings enjoyed each others company (apparently a ludicrous ideal according to my DH).

The good stuff: The kittens are now big bruisers who love catching praying mantis, lizards and voles yet still cry desperately for food, they are lovely to watch and still play together when not cruising the neighbourhood looking for love! The old hound is well and truly off his rocker and paces the house all the time, why, we don't know, he seems happy and eats well but his sight is bad an so is his breath, but we love him so!

I really hope to keep myself on an even keel this winter and have promised myself time for meditation, yoga and long walks in the woods, early nights and lots of healthy eating, time for family and friends. I will not let work and finances overshadow my life and will try very hard to see the positive in all things, most importantly we are all healthy at the moment and the sun is shining, I can hear the gentle crunching and rustling as leaves fall to the ground outside my shed door – what a beautiful noise xxxxx



Summer Loving

Blues and Greens

A hat full of figs

Next years vintage

Itsy Bitsy little books - inspired by Claire's wonderful blog at Border stories

Risen in the sun, kneaded by young hands and enjoyed with supper

Summer review

Well even here in sunny Tuscany the seasons are on the turn, a cool breeze greets us in the morning and the nights are dark early. We are overwhelmed with things we must do to prepare for winter, as last year we were so frozen and gloomy. Today the kids are collecting kindling and weeping up pine needles and cones for fire-lighting, we have logs coming next week, and I am umming and agghing over hedgerow jam as we had few strawberries and cherries nd no peaches this year, so the jam will have to be a mongrel variety. Tempers are high in the house - a long summer this year, everyone tired and grumpy, I think some gentle down time ad nourishing is required. Tonight Shepherds Pie and Waltons I think. I have to buckle down on the work front as several new projects are starting this month - so sad to give up my time in the home but needs must so for the next year I will most likely be in the office (our shed) 4 days a week and will cram in the olives, walnut harvest and veg patch, crafts, cooking etc around my work and trips to the UK for meetings. Oh to just be able to stay at home in Italy..............




Spent yesterday in Firenze visiting the Aussies before they go on their travels, the girls had so much fun and number 1 boy was a star pushing a babe in the buggy all around Florence. I was so delighted to come home though, I just don’t do cities and Florence is so 'money grabbing' and pretentious I love my simple life here in the hills and when I need culture Siena is perfect, tranquil and more real. I am uploading our summer pics bites size chunks so as not to bore the pants of everyone xx

The Seasons

Where to start...  We have had family and friends here now on and off for the last month, which mostly has been wonderful, yet tiring.  The hardest person to deal with is the Man who just likes his home quiet and simple, with a houseful of guests and many kids this made him grumpy!!!!!  However, when the house is back to normal he says he misses the company and bussle!!! Can't win really.  We have just said to goodbye to the Aussies and will see them again in two weeks, the time went to fast for me but one really joyful things was watching two little girls make a deep and happy bond, two 5 year olds who couldn't be more different in their personalities just clicked it was magical.Also seeing cousins slip into each others lives so easily as if they see them all the time.

Today has been about planning the autumn, we made a Christmas box of films, stories and music and set aside to gradually fill over the next few months.  The kids made cake, spent hours making knights and footballers out of tin foil and card, we watched the Waltons (fab), and I pottered around plotting autumn harvesting, thinking of woolly socks and mittens, still blistering hot here though.  

Back to work in the morning and something that we feel we need to make part of our lives is structure, not rigid rules but a gentle sequence throughout our week, as we are tired and unorganised at the moment.  So we really are going back to basics:  Bath nights, cleaning day/laundry and baking day, monday morning coffee to discuss our work, meals at 7pm bed at 8.30 for the kids etc etc

Hope to upload photos soon but have to use another pc to do this - very annoying.  xx

Angels & Demons

I am sure we must all have them, those nasty little devils that sneak into our thoughts and wreck our concentration, disturb our peace of mind or generally play havoc with our sense of wellbeing, but mine have been on a total destruct mission lately.  My demons mostly appear in the forms of low self worth, zero self esteem, lack of trust, feeling I am not good enough (mother, writer, wife etc) but sometimes they jump up and bite me on the bum and make me feel really bad.  Last week my nasty old demon of 'panic' appeared, the horrible gremlin that attacks me on high bits of road, in busy streets and on long bridges, I literally feel as if the road is crumbling beneath me and that I am falling and am going to die. Totally daft and very upsetting, I haven't felt this way for 2 years now,  then here it was back again, so on reflection I feel I was exhausted that day, thinking of too many things and now allowing time for relaxation, reflection and me-time.

So now I am back to putting my life in order, time for work, time for kids, time for my man and time for me, I am going to carefully balance where my energy is spent and gently re-shift the priorities back to health, love, happiness, nature etc.

Grounding myself physically and emotionally, I have been worried about not feeling secure in this house as it is so expensive but am always scared of upheaval, however, now does feel the time to move on (locally) nearer school and Siena which we all love.  So we have been looking at areas we would like to live in, discussing options and now feeling more positive about things.

I am working every other day now for the rest of the summer, in order to enjoy time with the kids and we have family here on Thursday so a busy few weeks in store.  Today the sun is bright, the flowers thirsty, my daughter has made bread which is rising on the table in the garden, I have a lovely bottle of Chianti set aside for supper time (a gift from Nonna), and a little gluten free cake for pudding, so a gentle evening ahead x

Honey and Rosemary bread, figs from the garden

 

Birthday icecream in Siena

Sunny Siena

Poor Daddy