best friends

Our journey with animals has been a long and lovely one, yes we have suffered the losses too but a lifetime of companionship is worth the pain.  Our most recent animal family members are Zoe and her son LB (Little Bear).  Zoe is a Boxer mix and was handed in to kennels 3 says off giving birth to 7 boy puppies.  We brought her to our home with her boys 6 weeks ago and finally on Saturday the last puppy was rehomed to a family in Prato.  We loved having a troop of mini boxers but it was pretty tiring for everyone.  So now we are just us again, Zoe and LB are now our dogs and I just have to change over the documents for her finally.  The love Zoe gives us is truly immense and we are so lucky to have her and of course LB who at 3 months is a pickle yet calm and happy.  Now I have to go and pick up poo and try and make the garden look less like a warzone as these fantastic new dogs are skilled in the fine art of mining for jewels and our garden is booby trapped with holes and trenches... Ah what fun x

 

September - summer review

Not really felt like writing much this summer, the season has zoomed by and now we are in September.  It is all too easy for me to feel frsutrated by what I havent acheived this summer, the places we didnt quite get to and the crafty things that are still to be made.  However, I am luckier than most as my kids go to school part time and I mostly work from home, although it is a pretty full on amount of work I have to do.  So to remind myself of the good things we have done over the summer holidays here is a little review:

Made Cherry Jam
Went to the Beach
Visited the outdoor Pool - alot
Went to Lucca
Weekend Camping at the Beach
Found a tortoise in the garden
Turned 40
Visited lots of old buildings and Abbeys
Grew Tomatos, Chicory, Cucumbers, Squashes, Chillis and Herbs
Made scary Chilli Sauce
Children did a market stall and sold beaded necklaces
Practised Calligraphy
Made and bought Christmas presents
Went Cycling - alot
Remmy the cat recovered from an Eye op
Ate lots of Italian icecream
Made Pate
Started to learn to Knit - again
Visited the Leonardo Da Vinci Museum
Had friends to stay
Grandma came on holiday
AA went camping with friends
The old hound kept on going - Hurray
Went up Monte Amiata for the day
TT lost her 2nd tooth, the tooth mouse and the tooth fairy came!
I got a new Garden Design job
Put on 3 pounds (Italian icecream)
Started learning about Italian wines
TT learnt to read in English
AA learnt to answer back -alot

We have done alot this summer it seems, but I do feel sad that school is starting, the boy is going to Media (middle school) and is growing up too fast. The girl wants to start ballet so we are going to find a class for her and I have finally joined a Yogalates class starting this month.  Next week I have a work trip to London and feel so weepy to be going away from home. 

September is without a doubt though the most beautiful month, the colours of the leaves, the bulging grapevines and ripening olive groves, the conker trees dropping spiky pods from above.  Soon we will have The boy's 11th birthday and the start of the Autumn Festas and Sagres (food festivals) Truffles, Porcini, Chestnuts, Olive Oil..... I can't wait.

I am in reflection mode at the moment feeling a little lost, last week the man and I had a lovely lunch in Siena then suddenly the chap behind us had want we assume was a massive heart attack, I tried to help his wife to stay calm and soothed her the best I could, but things looked very grim indeed. It shook me to the core and I cried all the way home, thinking how fast life can change so completely.  So I am reflecting on how I spend my time and with whom as we need to totally love every minute we have on this beautiful planet.

Times of change and healing

Well, I am loving this season, summer is here in Tuscany.  Roses in full bloom, Acacia blossoms just fading, cherries on the edge of redness, long wild poppies and orchids in the hedgerows.  Natural splashes of colour to lift the spirits in times of much change.

My children lost their Grandad a couple of weeks ago after a long, long time of  suffering and pain.  It feels odd to think he won't come here again, drink brandy in the garden and enjoy the soothing winds from accross the valley.  Now is the time to focus on the living, the lives we have now and for loving those around us and far away.  Strangley, some people think the children wouldn't feel strongly about their loss as he was their stepdad, but to us he was the grandad Mike, someone that played with them, cooked lovely meals for them and formed part of their childhood, maybe only occasionally but those times were good, worthwhile and special.

Now we are looking forward to summer, sun, swimming, gardening, cooking, the veg patch, cycling, seeing friends and family, scary birthdays and creating more special memories to store in our hearts.  I feel that I am growing up a little, getting less stressed, focusing on the things that matter, not the stuff that used to bother me (dust, smelly trainers, dog fur, lost car keys etc).  Now I can't see the dust as I am to lost looking into the sunset, I can't smell the trainers for the scent of the roses and the dog fur on the kitchen floor is a sign that our old hound is still here, for which I am so, so grateful. x

Food - the good the bad and the fattening

Food – I seem to have lost my flow, my naturalness in the kitchen, maybe the dark days and non stop rain are causing me to feel lacking in a desire to venture to the veg plot but all in all I feel adrift. I normally plan weekly menus, plot days for baking, soup making and general tinkering, but right now the kitchen is a little daunting. Even food shopping is putting me off, I normally dive head first into the open air markets sniffing, prodding and sampling local produce, but suddenly I am at a loss. 

Our eating habits are complex and sometimes hard work. I am gluten free and dilly dally around vegan, veggi diets often darting into pure raw here and there. But then, a Tuscan wild boar sausage somehow ends up on my plate hidden among the mashed potatoes and baked leeks, I woof it down then wish I hadn’t. My DH however is a meat man and would be very happy with all manner of carnivorous fair, he also loves bread and so I make breads and cakes I can’t eat and am happy to see them devoured. I buy meat occasionally that I rarely eat and create vegi meals that everyone else tolerates, just.
So here I am adrift in a sea of uncertainty wanting to simplify cooking and shopping but needing to still create yummy meals that I enjoy making and my family love eating – all on a wafer thin budget. After all I live in Tuscany the land of cheese, bread, cured meat and wine, maybe I will find my cooking mojo again soon. Any helpful ideas or encouragement are warmly welcomed x

TT helping gather olies (rolling in the nets)

cousins this summer

nb:  My copy of the green parent and the book 'eat pray love' have just landed on my desking - maybe the inspiration I need!!

The reading pile

I have been sent off to bed for the last 48 hours but cannot relax so have been wading through my reading pile. Also spending hours daydreaming about self suffiency, financial freedom, going off grid and buying some land, on a more 'now' level made plans for the veg gardens and boxes. We finalised our idea for the solar shower (garden) and hope to create this within the next week or so - pics to follow. Today I hope to: make soup and potter in the garden, taking things easy as not 100% percent. The birds are all singing their hearts out and I have thrown open all the windows to clear the air and my fuddled brain. The man is amazing, so organised, he copes so well when I am unwell and so do the children, but I feel his stress (me, money, time) and just want to be fit and strong at least most of the time to lessen his burdens. Beauty: today I see beauty and hope in the changing seasons, the warming breeze, the bread baking for my children, the sleeping kittens and the dozing dog, the cherry blossom and budding fruit trees, the new life emerging from the ground and the potential in all things around me. Here are a few of the lovely books I have been devouring whilst gazing out at the Tuscan spring:

1. Hard times in paradise - David and micki colefax
2. How can I let go - Linda Douty
3. Labyrinth - Kate Mosse
4. The Have More Plan
5. How to Feed your family - Gill Holcombe

In Love with

I love this country, I love its hills, its people and the sense of peace it brings.  Today I was literally sweating in desperation over work issues and stepped outside to see what the dog was barking at, within seconds I felt better, the breeze calmed me and the birdsong made me slow down and listen.  I don't know why but this place is special to me and I feel I have come home, how is this possible as I have no Italian links in my family but I know I have found my place in this mad, mad world.

Too much work on and very little time to wind down but life is still good.  The girl is under a duvet in front of the fire watching a film, the boy at football with Babo and I have just made bean and pasta soup for supper and am starting to relax after hours at my PC.

Plans - the move of the study to the shed (cantina) is moving on, we have to glaze the windows with perspex and uck out all my gardening stuff which will go under the leanto, change the locks and clean well.  I can't wait I have always had a yearning to work at the end of the garden like the wonderful Roald Dahl in his den.

Warm winter days

Just got back from a work trip to the UK and was distressed at how grey and gloomy it was. Loads of really agressive people in the towns screaming at kids in buggies, chain smoking teenagers with pregnant bumps in school uniform. I don't want to generalise about age or methods of bringing up kids but where is the love, the passion, the tranquillity, the harmony, the togetherness? I read a blog of a teenage Mum and she shows perfectly that you can be a loving mother whatever your age but why are there so many women in the UK who seem to treat their own health so badly. Queues outside Mc........, overloads of salt, dirty streets and shouting families. OK so I am not a realist and happily live in a little countryside bubble, but surely your average family must care about what they eat and how they behave or maybe there is simply no hope. Maybe I was having a negative week and all these people that I saw behaving in such outwardly awful ways are truly good inside and just need a break..... I am not so sure. I don't want to be judgemental but I really feel that some people have simply lost track on simple happiness and caring for each other.

Anyhow after the culture shock of real life in Devon and Somerset I am back to Tuscany and working hard but must make time to do some Christmassy things. Cakes, cookies, tags, papers and make some gifts, thought I would have a bash at candles this year.

Roots

Often wondered where our in-built personalities come from. I seem to be a real black/rainbow sheep, nothing in common with my family whatsoever. However there are ties there somewhere, bloodlines or energy lines. Watching my poorly children dozing today made me think of how their breath all came from within me, they orginated from me, it felt like a real basic and primal bondlike feeling flowed through us all curled up in front of the fire. I wonder how many other mothers are lucky enough to feel that depth of togetherness so acutely. I also came across this pic today and I look exactly like my children in everyway, and so another generation continues to live their own unique lives we may look the same but I wonder just how they will grow in time? - Also I love my Grandma's 70's hair in this pic truly fab.

Unspoken Words

I have felt really, really unwell for days. My mouth, throat and ears are agony, the nerve along my jaw has a searing constant pain and I have run out of energy to fight this virus. I was wondering why I have this illness and am utterly sure that the physical is related to the emotional and have spent days looking within myself as to what might cause these symptoms. One repeating topic is Blue Dog and how much I still miss is warm body and his silver shape next to me, typing this breaks my heart and the tears flow, unstoppable and from the core of me. After he died I felt I had to be strong for everyone else and be brave and worse than that grown up. Well, I don't feel those things and even after a year of him being gone I still wish I had told him that he was my baby boy - my rock, he always, always made me feel whole, the smell of his soft fur soothed me in times of need and he eased me from teenager, to woman, wife, to mother. I want to walk with him in the hills and get annoyed when he refuses to come back, I want to stop the two dogs trying to take chunks out of each other, I want to feel his velvet ears brush past me knees. It will always shake me the depth of my love for Blue Boy. So it is out now, how I still miss him and always shall. But now I must let my love pour towards Leo, now another old boy, who too has a place in my heart and soul. x

Blogging off for now

 

(16 year old kickers above - reused & well loved)

This whole blog thing is terribly addictive and I have convinced myself that it is also important and worthy of my time which sometimes though really I feel it is not entirely true when deadlines loom as do the bills so for now I am blogging off to concentrate on work for a few days at least until Monday. For the timebeing some lovely early autumn pics of fun in the sun x