Reflections

For the first time in months I am a little calmer, I have felt overwhelmed and exhausted and close to breaking point lately. With huge work comittments and issues within the family, stressed and fragile children and health worries at times I simply havent had time or energy to shower or tidy the house.  Everything felt like it was sliding away or piling on top of me, but I think I am finally turning a corner.  For years, actually forever I have felt that I am failing, not working hard enough, not being a good wife, not being home enough, being horribly unorginised, always late and messy, not being intune with my kids, too chubby, too pale and pink, simply not living up to what I thought I should be.  But things are changing, I have to change as I am so tired emotionally and physically that I simply must be kinder to myself.  So in a kind of moving on cycle I feel that I am letting go of some of my hangups and I am literally clearing out our lives from the bottom up.  We hope so much that we have finally found a new house, one nearer school, nearer the boys Rugby, on a beautiful hilltop overlooking the forest.  We hope to have orgnised a new school for the boy, one that will encourage and help him succeed.  Our wolf size puppy has had the snip and is calming slowly, my wonderful children are just amazingly creative, patient and nourish my soul, the vegis are growing and sometimes we have enough water to share some with them, we have a new car which is giving freedom.  We have had some wonderful visits from friends and Grandma comes soon too but for now in order to be the Mummy and woman by family deserve I intend to.....

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Breathe Deeply
Walk the Dogs everyday
Make more jam and soups
Plan for simple homemade Christmas
Nurture my Soul
Enjoy Music
Cutout the booze, caffiene and meat
Smell the Roses
Enjoy a long soak (new house has only showers)
Start decluttering and Packing and looking through old pics
Meditate and Yoga every morning
Repeat my affirmations
Be kind to myself
Learn to love who I am now
Soak up the summer
Let go of the things and people that cause me sadness
Laugh more and more x

four layer gluten free chocolate tower inspired by Roald Dahl

Twirling and dreaming

windy day in Firenze on the Ponte Vecchio