Light

There is light at the end of the tunnel.  I will blog again, I will share the happiness and laughter of our lives again soon.  There is so much to tell, how things have changed, the axis shifted in strange and unexpected ways.  All is steadying now, life is realigning and we are able to breathe deeply, walk tall and with eyes wide open.  The sunrises fill me with hope and happiness and I am overwhelmed with how beautiful the winter sun can be after the dark days of a rain filled November.  For now a small entry of how I feel better now, able to purposely keep moving on through this life of mine.  The last year has been stressful, long and hard, wearying and arduous, but it is drawing to a tidy and overdue closure, I am so at ease with starting a new chapter, champing at the bit for new experiences, positive changes and inspiring new journeys.

The sleeping children have given in to seasonal fevers, coughs and colds, shivers and chills so we have all withdrawn to layers of duvets, open fires and hot tea. This week will be all about 'restoring' ourselves and our hopes and dreams x

The girls loves horses and so do I

Tabby's Summer camp seems so long ago.  In June TT went to camp where she normally goes to learn vaulting on horseback.  Basically gymnastics on horses and some circus skills on the side - perfect concoction of danger and animals.  I love this place it feels me with calm, I breathe slowly when there and I adore the old horses that enjoy their retirement surrounded by laughter, love and children.  I would spend all day hanging around the horses snorting in that stable smell and laying on the ground looking at the trees.  Chiara who owns the farm has an amazing effect on me and often I leave feeling that my life is full of hope which of course it actually is.  After each camp they have a little show and I love watching the children show the skills they have learnt.  This summer was not the best for the girl as she simply wants to be with the horses and there were some girls who were 'in your face' which bothered her and annoyed me and distracted from the essence of this special little spot in in Tuscany.  BUT that's reality, different personalities bring about different reactions some good some not so good.  For me nothing with distract from the positive effect this special place has on all of us.

https://www.facebook.com/lacasella.cavalgiocare?fref=ts

adrift

A strange week, 21st August, harvest time.  I feel lost, adrift, unable to stay on a certain path, trying to make plans for work, home, last minute trips is impossible things just have to stay on hold.  We have had some cooler days which have been so welcome, so refreshing but so clearly signs of Autumn ahead.  So we are taking baby steps to plan for winter, the guys have been chopping and stacking wood, I have made 10 x litre bottles of homegrown tomato passata, the man has built our first raised bed in our side garden and the vegetable patch is looking tired.

I am planning autumn crafts and nice homely things mostly with Christmas in mind, I have sorted cupboards and have labelled boxes which are full of cards, ribbons and fabrics etc so I have no excuses for not getting on with things.

But still I am lost, my aunt died at the weekend she was young really 65 but had been slowly killing herself for several years, she was found dead alone most likely drunk.  We are waiting for the coroners report but I have to fly back to the UK to help my Grandma and Uncle (who are both disabled) organise the funeral etc.  So I can't seem to get on with things as I don't know when to fly back, or for how long and I have to fit in work commitments and the last precious weeks of the school holidays so all in all I feel heavy hearted and saddened for what lies ahead in the next few weeks and a life lost.

But, life here in our little spot in Tuscany is still beautiful and we are so lucky.  Today I will work for a few hours then bake and make soup as this will help restore my soul.  The girl is at her Grandparents which is truly wonderful as this is a rare treat for her and the boy is here finishing summer homework, the house is quiet and still which is lovely but very strange.  So now I will leave this page and take small steps into the rest of my day.

We will soon have a teenager in the house and it shows...

Summer Dreaming

After a very long break from this blog about our slightly crazy family life I feel ready to slowly and calmly post some snapshots of where we have been, what has been happening and how life is treating us here in our little home in Tuscany.  Life is good, tough and full, busy and stressful but above all good.  When I list the things that need attention, need work, need money I remain focused on what we already have, what has been achieved, the progress we have all made on many levels, this seems to help keep the stress levels under control.

We have grown and harvested a whopping selection of veg in our jungle like patch
We have been to England and enjoyed time with friends and family
Our dogs have calmed down finally
We have spent days at the pool cooling off
We have enjoyed time with Grandma
We have Cycled to Monteriggioni for picnics
We have eaten outside for lots of the summer
We are all healthy and happy in equal measures
We have great friends in all corners of the world
The blackberries, Sloes, Figs are all ripe
Our damaged Peach tree did still bear fruit
We still have water! Miracle in Tuscany
We will go to the beach soon
We have read, played games, watched films, baked cakes and just enjoyed each other's company
The views are free
Homemade pizza always a winner

Memories of Blighty.... I trip to London, Somerset and Devon with the kids and friends, including Waffles, English Breakfasts, London Eye, Natural History Museum, Science Museum, Trains, Planes, Buses, Beaches, Devon, Somerset, Chocolate Cake, Horses, Dogs, BBQs, Picnics, Builders Tea,  Family and Friends

Calm

After years of daily panic and worry I have found a little place of calm, actually it is a big place of calm and it's all around me.  I watched a programme on the Amish and one interview with a man leaving the Amish changed my outlook on life entirely.  He said he had total unwavering faith that all will be well in whatever form that takes but all will be well.  So now I am looking at the world as a friendly place and one where all will be well, or at least trying to.  I am breathing deeply, thinking before reacting, calmly believing that I have enough time, enough money, enough health, enough of everything and my calmness is bringing a sense of peace to the house too.  I hope and intend to make this my natural way in the future, I am saying goodbye to the fight or flight feelings I have always had and just 'know' that all will be well.

I am also utterly grateful for our place in life, in Tuscany, working for ourselves with great friends and neighbours and our wonderful and 'tight' family unit.  Yes, there have been downsides this week, even tears but the bigger picture is and always will be 'good'.

a new cosy corner in the living room

zoe dog waiting for crumbs

waiting for the rain to go away

bread for lunch

making fathers day cards

glitter and glue

scones

chocolate icecream experiment

extreme cooking

wild patch

tomatoes

fruit jam

potatoes

bounty

peas for podding

goodies from the orto patch

neighbours puppies

first swim of the year (neighbours pool)

view from the poolside

his flipflops, my feet

new friends

diving girl

roses and chestnut fence

love roses

lovely pergloa and hydrangeas

lavander sunset

dresser mess