Light of heart

I am feeling brighter lately. We seem to be putting the sadness of loss, illness and stress behind us, at least I hope we are. Following a spring and winter full of hospital visits and money worries I do strongly feel that things are shifting. Things moved on very literally last Friday when we had a little tremor which scared the pants off me, earthquakes do nothing for my sense of calm but the do make me re-align and decide what things are most important.

Now we are rolling into the weekend after a work laden week and I have spent most of my waking hours working on my computer so I thought I would finish off with a little personal blogging.  Some pics of a little trip to Umbria and thanks to Villia Pia for a wonderful weekend, I am writing a feature on this gorgeous family friendly holiday for work, will post more about it later.

We seem to have an awful lot of fun things in the wings, Grandma is visiting soon, friends arrive in June and the children finish school on the 10th for 3 months - hooray! Today the roses are throwing their perfume into the spring breeze, the grass is cut and the bulbs growing, my veg patch is getting there and the alpine strawberries are going crazy. Life in Tuscany is good, crostini for lunch, dinner al fresco at Siena Rugby Club marking the end of the season, birthday parties for school friends and Rugby matches in Florence, making chocolate brownies and planting up geraniums to ward of the mosquitoes. Thunder rumbling through the mountains might make for an interesting picnic supper but all in all we seem to have a sense of wellbeing in the home, I hope to continue letting go of life's little frustrations and focus on the bigger story, happiness, health and togetherness.  Could we be entering a phase in our lives where we can just enjoy being here?  I am trying to be gentle on those around me and the response is amazing the kids are less confrontational and the man is less grouchy, even the dog is less needy.  When I am up tight it alters the whole mood in the house, so I am going to try to remain being kind to myself and others.

Bloody Health

Fed up.  I have so many things that need doing including proposals for work, overdue features and the house is overflowing with dog fur and dust.

Spent this afternoon at the hospital booking in for more bloody tests to determine what Immunity Disorder I have, how to live with it and how to treat it!  I will be admitted in Feb for a couple of days which is a bummer, if your immunity is low, then visiting a hospital is like entering a dangerzone.  In the meantime I am coping with over 30 mouth ulcers and a sense of humour failure!  On top of my being a grump, I feel guilty for feeling blue as there are so many people in far worse situations around the world right now and I am moaning about dust!

Any how - I spent 1 hour speaking Italian to the specialist then an 1 hour with TT's teachers so am pleased with my language progress at least, although with the poorly mouth I sound like I am pissed - I would like to be actually.  On the bright side, the kitten who yesterday risked death by falling asleep in the engine of our neighours van is totally OK but very spooked, when Gianni turned on the engine the cat shot out from inside the bonnet - Romy is now on 8 lives!

Spent last night writing a huge list of vegan and gluten free recipes for me to try once I feel like eating again, I am simply just taking honey and lemon and camomile tea at the moment as cannot chew or swallow well.  I am determined to boost my immune system with diet - I am looking into the daylight diet and going partially raw, but I do love warm food on cold days.  Food and cooking is such a big part being me, growing it, preparing it, sharing it etc...........  I hate restricting my diet but I will do ANYTHING to regain my health.

Kids in the bath and Babo watching over them whilst ironing - yes he does that too, mostly because I don't.  We share all the chores and childcare as we work together in the business and he has higher standards than I do on the housekeeping front so can't leave things long - wheras I can.   Things I am looking forward to..

Light mornings
Clear skies
Budding flowers
Cherry Blossom
The Sea
Green grass
Daffodils
Peaches on the tree
Eating outside
Open windows
Prosecco
Roasted Mushrooms
Asparagus
Balmy evenings
Long walks
Reading in the garden

xxxx

The way things are

Sometimes it is important to remember we simply cannot control every element of our lives.  I have always tried to be on top of work, the home, the kids the garden, money etc, sometimes failing terribly but often keeping going on a slightly wonky even keel, but now when a health problem appears and takes over a huge amount of your energy it seems a clear sign to take a step back and just go with the flow.

This Christmas has been very relaxed, low key and inexpensive.  We have decided though that on some levels we are simply going through the motions, seeing the people we always have and not looking more deeply into ourselves and noticing what each of us wants from this time of year.

Next year we have all decided to do something different and funfilled, full of energy and life, nature and laughter, so we hope to go skiing to a tiny resort two hours from here, none of us have done this before but the kids are v.keen and the idea of spending the days being out in the fresh air doing something new followed by nights cosied up together would be so magical.

We have also decided that we will now limit all pressies to one special or heartfelt gift each as the present opening at my Mum's almost left me unable to get up for paper and gifts - wonderful but I think we all went a little OTT on pressies, even though most were homemade or very cheap and cheerful.

I have always loved this time of year, but I feel a little different this year, maybe because I am not in peak health, but I already yearn for the spring bulbs, the light mornings and the balmy evenings, the daffodils are in progress here and the tiny bulbs are poking through the earth but the veggi patch is devoid of life..........must make a start.

The last few days have been full of togetherness - lots of sqaubbles, but much doing stuff side by side.  Homework alongside painting. Cooking while chatting and watching playful kittens, Old films and good wine, snuggled up nights and lazy mornings.  Thursday is Babo's birthday so we are off to Siena to go iceskating, but for now some pics of our Buon Natale for you to enjoy - Italy is magical in every season, but Christmas is very, very special x

Things that are so special:

The Nativity scenes in the churches which move and capture the hearts of the children
The lights in the medieval streets of the old towns
The handknitted presents from Grandma
The open fire warming hands and souls
The chestnut flour which I am experimenting with (gnochhi today)
The endless scenes of hilltops and mountains
Befane - the tradition here is that Befane comes on 6th January
My dh tackling the mound of ironing
The crazy busy markets bustling with life
The huge veg plot beconing to be filled
My new books (Herbal remedies and cookbooks)
The old dog so patient with the naughty kittens (He likes their food)
The moonlight nights and sparkling views
The vats of soup in the freezer
The endlesss possibilities tomorrow may bring.

Sharon x

Buon Natale

My daughter is singing Italian christmas songs in the distance, my boy has started his holiday homework and I can scratch off a few more work tasks from the very long list.  Family members health is improving and I have just collected my test results from the hospital so will see the Dr in the morning for his feedback and confirmed diagnosis.

I am ready to start baking and labelling presents - it is warmer here and the snow is no more.  It was the wrong snow by the way, hard scary sharp stuff, burning cold and impossible to make into anything nice, it just made moving around totally dangerous and the roads were sheet ice and the nights minus 9.

I am happy now to drift into a warm Christmas fug surounded by happy faces and warm hearts.  Kittens are pestering for more outside adventures so will persist in the hourly walks around the garden with them.  Will curl up by the fire tonight and think of the future whatever it brings.

On solstice night we also celebrated 2 years in Italy and when I asked everyone waht they liked the most about living in Tuscany, all of us said the views from our garden including the children.  The Food, the people and the weather also came up, for me, I feel at home, rested and meant to be here.  I have to say I don't miss the UK as I still visit alot for work, but I do miss Italy when I am away, they say home is where the heart is and in my case that is a small hill between Siena and Florence overlooking towers and olive groves, vineyards and forests - we are so lucky, it makes the cold damp winter nights all worth it.

Inspiring Blogs

A little background - I spent 15 years as a vegi with occasional bacon splurdges when on a student night out but mostly totally vegi. In 2001 I weighed under 7 stone and felt really ill, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease so then altered by diet to exclude all gluten and wheat related products, then I got bored and started eating meat again - fickle but true. Swiftly my weight returned to normal and my health got better but the bulge kept coming and at my heaviest I have weighed about 10.5 stone and felt bloated and lethargic (I am only 5.2ft). Now on a very rocky middle ground I weigh 9.2 and still feel horrible but alot lighter so I am intending to alter my diet as follows:


Vegan and inlcuding as much raw as possible
Limit all caffiene and booze(my downfall is red wine)
I will buy fresh meat for my family and cheeses
Switch everyone to soy/rice milk and yoghurts
Include more nuts and grains in our diet
Water, Water, fresh juices - although am sensitive to oranges
Try new recipe ideas every week
Smoothies - learn 3 staple recipes
Learn to use gluten free flours better and carob


Does anyone have any advice? I am trawling blogs for ideas and found this great one. http://glutenfreeveganfam.blogspot.com/


My intentions are to:
Feel healthier and more energetic
Make my migraines go away
Make my periods more bearable
Become calmer and more clear thinking
Get clearer skin
Improve the health of my family

Hope

Today I am so sad because we have a lost dog roaming the countryside near our house, for three days he has been sitting under trees or lolloping through the olives. I have tried everything to encourage her /him to come to me I have put down food and water all over the garden / hillside but it is too timid. And now it is limping, I know if I call the forestry police they will probably shoot it as it is an injured animal but to me she is someones lost dog and needs love and help. I checked the food bowls this morning but they were untouched. I feel desperate for the dog and its owner, though it is probably a hunters dog who has lost it's way and they don't bother looking for them in all reality when they go missing. Also we have had no sleep as the girl has been crying all night with a poorly ear, in the end we boiled an egg and wrapped it in a wet flannel and held the warm egg to her ear which worked in getting her to sleep at 4am. But I feel that we will have to give in and go to the Dr today. I wonder if the stressful things are related to Mabon? Could the start of autumn mean a shift in priorities again, ie. home, hearth, health and compassion? Rather than work and money? Maybe a large mug of tea and a peice of paper will help straighten things out as to what to do first and re-align our focus.

Fear and turkey bones

I have been battling the big fear over work projects lately. Over the spring some things went butter side down on the floor work wise and I took a big knock to the confidence. I now have some potential larger writing projects coming my way and I am scared as there is a clash of personalities but we need the money. Basically we need another vehicle and if I land another magazine (editorial work) we can get the car, however, all I really want to do is make bread and write my book..agghhh. All suggestions welcome!

(picture: a wispy sky today in Bella Vista)

I have been reading 'Living Magically' by Gill Edwards and am sure I have missed loads of signs about which route to take over the years and am trying to trust my intuition more but it is hard to find middle ground between instinct and real life. This week has been really weird lots of irritations which I am sure are pointing to something in particular: I lost £5 in town, I have had a horrible attack of shingles and can't eat or sleep well, the camera is playing up, then last night Tabby choked on a bone, very scary and big but she coughed it out, thank god. What can all these things mean? Maybe the emphasis should be on health and healthy finances at the moment. I am relishing the last few days with the children before school starts again on Monday I have loved the 3 long summer months of no school and am sad at the idea of losing the chatter and banter to the classroom again. It might help me concentrate on prioritising my work though. I hear tantrums in the garden now from the youngest daredevil so need to check the score..... lastly, Discovered my moon sign today 'Scorpio' thanks to the very inspiring http://holisticmum.blogspot.com/ thank you.