Tears, tantrums and sock issues

I am so, so weary. This morning spiralled out of control again when Tabby refused to get dressed, changed her clothes twice, refused tights, leggings and socks. Picked socks, said they annoyed her removed socks, screamed at us threw stuff around the house, screamed more, put socks on inside out, puts boots on, said they annoyed her, took them and socks off, screamed more about the seams in the socks. Cried, shouted and kicked us both, took off her dress and insited on putting it back on backwards. Just as they were going out the door she took shoes, socks and dress off and refused to put them on. I swapped the socks for the smoothest I could find and tried to put them on her, she kicked me hard in the ribs and I smacked her - I wish I could rewind the clock!. I didn’t intend to but she was uttery out of control and I burst into tears again!! She was carried kicking and screaming into the car, they got to school 1/2 hour late as usual.  Every morning is like this, every day starts with total chaos and then I feel crap for hours and hours. 

There are two issues here think. Tabby wants to be in control of everything, she also has a massive temper issue, we are trying to calm her and listen and give her freedom to choose are clothes etc, this doesn’t seem to help though.

2nd issue, she genuinely hates socks and tights. I bought three pairs of soft smooth tights on Saturday and have had to cut the feet off as she can’t cope with the seams on the toes. She will then only where 1 or 2 pairs of socks which to me seem the same in feel to all her others!  Can anyone help on the anger issues and the sock problems. Does anyone know of seamless tights or socks?

A kind Mummy on the GP forum just sent me these links which are great and on close inspection I was very very interested to read about Tactile Defenciveness.  Also having calmed down myself, maybe she is simply saying listen to me these socks do REALLY bother me.  So tonight I will sit with her and make a 'comfy' sock box and put only things that she is hapy with in the box, maybe this will work.  I have ordered some socks from the Sensory Smart site but do not know how long the post will take to arive here in Italy.

http://www.sensory-smart.com/


http://www.eczemaclothing.com/Department/Cotton+Socks+Tights/Childrens+Socks/

http://www.seamlesssocksuk.co.uk/girls socks.html