Selfish Joy

Yep it's true, I'm selfishly loving working from home more lately.  I love loading the washing machine, baking the bread, walking the dog, watching the olive pickers, tidying the kids rooms and readying supper for their return.

So what has changed, am I ill?  Have I lost my various jobs?  Have I had a terrible accident?  No I'm finally learning to delegate and prioritise in a rational and less panic stricken way.

How did I reach this state or nirvana... through being too exhausted mentally and physically to be in control of everything. So I have let go of trying to acheive SO much.

Things that are being let slide (onto a soft landing pad I hope)

My garden plans - looks like a gentle evolution will take the place of my set plan of action
My wardrobe - is bare and beautiful, I have ditched so much stuff and am making good the things I love
My time on the computer - I'm monitoring this too
Fear - has no place here, I will confront and deal with all worries head on and swiftly
Time for others - this is more important than clean floors or tidy hair (neither of which I have ever had)
Sleep - whenever I need to
Medication - no more steriods, no more immune suppressents whoopie and I feel and look so much better
Work ethic - I do what I love (gardening and design, writing and blogging), but only at times that work for us as a family, I will not dictated to by anyone no matter ho much they are paying me!
Plans - small, acheivable pockets of happiness xx
 
Lastly this change of thought and heart is thanks very much to my wonderful friends Luke and Kate, if you read this guys you saved my sanity when you came to stay, I can't thank you enough for helping me through a tough time x

Autumn in Tuscany

Some Random Shots taken lthis season xxx

A sense of calm - at last

Its been too long since I last put my thoughts down in writing.  Someone once told me that difficult, immense, stressful, life changing things only happen to those people that can handle them – is this true?  If so, I must have a hidden strength I was unaware of.

So, at last I am through the dark days the heavy shadows that fell over me for a while and am well and truly out the other side of the tunnel beautifully blinded by the light of wondrous possibilities.  To explain a little where I’m coming from, this summer included:

• Moving House (whilst the man and kids were overseas)
• Changing Career (whilst maintaining the old one)
• Having a painful operation (left unable to drive for 4 weeks)
• Training our unruly adopted dogs (dealing with unhappy new neighbours)
• Changing our son’s school (coping with the emotional turmoil it created)
• A crashed car (no injuries except to the wallet thankfully)
• Losing a few work projects (due to all the above combined)
• Boy with Bronchitis
• Girl with arm in plaster
• An overwhelming sense of tiredness and lack of control

But, stop, as all the above have passed.  We have moved on and in my mind I am in a much more secure and comfortable place, feeling more settled, positive, hopeful and above all loved and happy.

I just want to share some of the magical things that make this life here in Tuscany bringing up two amazing individuals with my oh so patient man so special:

• Open fires slowly burning olive wood off-cuts
• Perfectly chilled Prosecco
• Cheese and Honey
• My boxer dog’s so soft cheeks
• The girl’s special tree, climbed and much loved
• The sunset above the ancient Tuscan roof tiles
• The view to the medieval church from our window
• Late flowering roses
• The scent of wild curry plants
• The boy’s dedication to his passion (Rugby)
• Music, old and new, classic and contemporary
• An oversized snoozing puppy
• The return of the long lost cat (after 5 months)
• Time together watching old films
• Special friends, time together and apart
• The dog whisperer who saved my sanity
• Slowly marinated beef daube
• This year’s new Olive Oil
• Tiramisu (pick me up) made by the darling daughter
• Fresh baked bread thanks to the Boy
• Rosehips, Sloes and Dandelion Leaves
• Wild mushrooms, Porcini and Truffles
• Drifting wood smoke
• Plans for Christmas
• Tips of snow covered mountains in the distance
• Horses, Donkeys, Goats and Ponies (we live next to a stable)
• One trusty old camera
• Outdoor sofas
• Cappuccinos and Macchiatos
• Brandy drenched Christmas cake (resting on the bookshelves)
• Piles of books in bedroom, in the bathroom and in the car (and handbag if I’m honest)
• The total faith that tomorrow will bring more adventures
• The freedom to be kind to myself
• Letting myself off the hook occasionally 

I would love to share all the above with you, so why not induge yourself a little this autumn, I fully recommend it. x