Angels & Demons

I am sure we must all have them, those nasty little devils that sneak into our thoughts and wreck our concentration, disturb our peace of mind or generally play havoc with our sense of wellbeing, but mine have been on a total destruct mission lately.  My demons mostly appear in the forms of low self worth, zero self esteem, lack of trust, feeling I am not good enough (mother, writer, wife etc) but sometimes they jump up and bite me on the bum and make me feel really bad.  Last week my nasty old demon of 'panic' appeared, the horrible gremlin that attacks me on high bits of road, in busy streets and on long bridges, I literally feel as if the road is crumbling beneath me and that I am falling and am going to die. Totally daft and very upsetting, I haven't felt this way for 2 years now,  then here it was back again, so on reflection I feel I was exhausted that day, thinking of too many things and now allowing time for relaxation, reflection and me-time.

So now I am back to putting my life in order, time for work, time for kids, time for my man and time for me, I am going to carefully balance where my energy is spent and gently re-shift the priorities back to health, love, happiness, nature etc.

Grounding myself physically and emotionally, I have been worried about not feeling secure in this house as it is so expensive but am always scared of upheaval, however, now does feel the time to move on (locally) nearer school and Siena which we all love.  So we have been looking at areas we would like to live in, discussing options and now feeling more positive about things.

I am working every other day now for the rest of the summer, in order to enjoy time with the kids and we have family here on Thursday so a busy few weeks in store.  Today the sun is bright, the flowers thirsty, my daughter has made bread which is rising on the table in the garden, I have a lovely bottle of Chianti set aside for supper time (a gift from Nonna), and a little gluten free cake for pudding, so a gentle evening ahead x

Honey and Rosemary bread, figs from the garden

 

Birthday icecream in Siena

Sunny Siena

Poor Daddy