Tired in Tuscany

Our adventures in Tuscany have been wonderful, terrifying, heartfelt, stressful, joyful, overwhelming but above all totally worthwhile.  This is the place where I feel at home, rooted, grounded and content.  The ups and downs are all part of this life but sometimes I feel heavy hearted as other peoples actions or opinions hurt me or leave me feeling panicky.

Yesterday a neighbour was rather blunt about the state of our veg patch and the fact that our cat had probably disappeared because he wasn't castrated yet.  To be fair both of these points are true, but also, I am very aware of these points and they bother me enormously.  I try to understand that everyone has stuff going on in heir private lives and in their own heads but to point out stuff that clearly already affects someone is rather cruel and unkind I'd say.


So today I thought I'd let free all the things that bother me in writing and let them go...

• Worried sick about our injured missing cat
• worried sick about my son's small operation tomorrow
• Dog fur and dust everywhere
• piles of washing
• weed covered veg patch
• rude neighbours and work colleagues
• mounds of paperwork
• flies and mosquitoes
• the state of our car (rubbish bin like)
• constant running around
• tiredness and illness
• feeling panicky and worried
• lack of time and energy
• bills that need addressing
• lack of support 
• lack or organisation
• Need to take a break and recharge
• Massive list of commitments this summer
• Feeling unfit, unkempt and flabby

ENOUGH - the above list are just niggles, the bumps in the road, the crumbs in the bed, nothing more, so here is the bigger and better picture:

• The sun is shining across the terracotta roof riles
• the dogs are snoozing on the lawn
• the garden is full of birdsong, blossom and flowers
• the lawns are cut
• the seeds are growing
• we have a car, house, huge gardens and veg patch
• I have flexible work/lifestyle
• we have a trip booked to see friends
• we have friends coming this weekend
• we have good health in general (ish)
• the market is on in the morning for fresh veg and good cheeses
• we have dreams and hopes
• the shelves are full of books waiting to be read
• the children are looking forward to summer holidays
• the shows, festas, rugby matches etc are all times to chill out with the kids
• we live well in our little house
• We have hoopies and woodpeckers to watch pecking the grass
• hills full of acacia perfume and swathes of poppies
• old pine dresser full of food
• wine is cheap and good here
• we have booked a weekend at the coast
• Our family is secure and loved and strong

Wet and Windy Easter memories

I am slowly catching up with my blog as the last few months have been overloaded with work stresses and various illnesses, not a whole heap of fun.  That said, I strongly believe that you have to squeeze in the good stuff and at Easter one of our clients let us use there cottage up in the hills north of Lucca, our plan was to work in their garden in the day, have bbq's in the evening, do lots of walking and have picnics etc.  The reality was very different, howling gales, flash floods, non-stop driving rain, dense fog all meant our plans changed and instead included:

• Kids first skiing mission at Abetone (so proud I cried) - thought this maybe a promise that would never be fulfilled but we did it, yeah
• Walking in the rain
• Hot Tea
• Cooked Breakfasts
• Open Fires
• Damp Dogs
• Cycling the walls of Lucca
• Rustic Osteria Lunches
• Downtown Abbey DVD's
• Homemade vegi curries
• Hot Chocolate and Biscuits
• Baileys
• Mittens and Hats
• Egg Hunts and Chocolate Smiles

Finding the little pockets of happiness on the long dark days keeps us going, in my little family at least.

things I love

Sometimes the everyday stuff seems so full of basic things that are dull and tiring the cleaning up dog hair, the wiping off icecream from furniture, the hunt for the missing sock, the forgotton homework dramas etc.  But, inbetween the 'necessary' are the goodies, the snapshots of love and laughter, the jam and honey.  Here are a few of mine.

Sneaky big dog snoring on forbidden sofa
The mummy's day poem
The sound of recorder practice
The warm sunlight peeking through the wooden shutters
My newly planted foxgolves waving in the breeze
Peach blossom
The scent of the Jasmine
our wild and huge garden
A full fridge and dresser
A 6 week menu plan I created at the weekend
The view accross the terracotta roofs
Cool tiled floor beneath my feet
The old films we indulge ourselves with in the evenings
The sun dried tomatos from a lovely friend
The mended mosquito net ready to go above our bed
The freedom to work for myself

Here are some pics I took when the tidying (a while ago) and cleaning got too much and I grumped around feeling glum then kicked myself up the backside and focused on the good stuff, here is some of the sweetness I found amongst the grime and dog fur...

Enough of the sweetness and light, now off to pick up poo, hang the washing on the line, put more in, prepare supper and walk 3 km to pick the girl up from school.  On balance the walk is stunning and we will get a wondeful icecream when in the village, lucky us x

Friendship

I so hope to recapture time with friends this summer as the winter and spring has seemed to be all about work issues (we are self employed) and when the dust does settle we simply sleep or frantically clean the house, water plants, mow lawns... normal stuff for normal people but still it can become a cycle without enough of the goodstuff, the laughs, the lightheartedness.  We have squidged in short snaps of time with good old friends and they help you to come out of yourself a little.  Having a baby in the house was lovely and having someone need you totally a reminder of the important stuff, being prepared, nurturing someone and being in-tune with another human being.  Our kids have been truly amazing in our months of madness, the boy walking 3 km's from the bus home up a very steep hill.  The girl not complaining when we are too tired to cook lovely meals and are living off pasta and pesto.  So in little steps towards being more relaxed we hope to kick-back with friends this summer and enjoy some time eating together, cooking together, looking at the views and breathing in the Tuscan air.