Today I am finally in a clear head-space and feel I can blog again. For a few months our lives have been spiralling in the overwhelming business of work and play. Too many work projects not enough organisation on my part. Many much loved guests but many things to do, cook, clean, washing etc. So it seems that somewhere in the throng I lost myself a little, my individuality, the important and necessary parts of me where swept aside. For weeks I stopped my Yoga, Read less, meditated rarely, barely noticed the plants and nature around me and found myself on autopilot. However I am glad that nature and this world full of energy has its own subtle and down right obvious ways of making us re-align ourselves.
I have always believed in watching the signs around us, the little hints that things aren't quite right, but I must have simply stopped listening to my own intuition.
This week however the signs where slap bang in front of me. The broken down car, the blocked in car, the electricity stopping, the blocked drains, the poorly cat, the flooded towns, then finally the Asthma attack that put me in hospital. So there, I have stopped, slowed down and sat and thought about how my family and particularly me have been slipping back into our old lifestyle with dramatic consequences.
We really have had the most wonderful early summer and having family and friends here is truly beautiful, the noise of children's chatter, little girls imaginary games, boys dive bombing in the pool, friends enjoying Tuscan food and Grandma relaxing in the sun, my Mum's birthday, some good wine and long sun kissed days, but now I must focus on myself within the home, and stop rushing around all over the place and neglecting health and simple comforts.
Over the last year too our diets have reverted back to my (pre-illness) days, meat dairy and wine, caffeine and sugar. Also chemicals have crept back into our home, slowly but terrifyingly we have ended up with noxious substances in cupboards and drawers. For one year I was seriously careful about every substance we brought into our home but somewhere I just let go and gave in to the easy solution. However, this could have literally killed me. It seems the Asthma attack was caused by an allergy to fly spray, mosi spray or something the farmers are spraying on the vines around us or a combination of nasties in the air!!!! Scary stuff. So a gentle and caring promise to all those around me and to myself, I will never again let our home become filled with these things again and will be bold enough to stick to this. Keeping a healthy happy home and body is now totally at the top of my list.
So I am now going to really settle back into a natural and gentle existence allowing room to breathe - literally. I have a work trip away in Blighty this week but this will also give me the chance to write and make good plans for the summer and winter but for now I want to build more of the following back into my life: Music, Painting, Crafts, Vegan Food, Reading, Walking, Sewing, Breadmaking and cooking. Also quiet times with the children independently and helping TT with her English reading, although they have three months holiday it will pass quickly. For now I have 2 children's parties to go to this weekend but will not rush or panic or overstretch myself, I will enjoy the drive through the woods, the sunflowers and poppies, I will soak up the views, enjoy the excitement of little girls unwrapping gifts and the sounds of young chaps with up and down voices playing rugby under the Tuscan umbrella pines, I will take a bag of books in the car and dip into cooking and gardening books - I will simply slip from one moment to the next x
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